Sunday, June 26, 2011

Loving the Language Blogfest

Remember a week and a half ago I talked about the Loving the Language Blogfest? Well it's a good thing I (a) subscribed to comments on her post and (b) picked out my sentences last week because I would have totally forgot to post this today!

I'm going to cheat a little because my WIP is pretty new and... well, it's a super-duper first draft, if you get what I'm saying. (ROUGH) So I'm going to do five from that one and five from The Demons You Know, which is the work I'm querying.

The Demons You Know

  • A tangible trembling of magic hung in the air like the sound of a muted television.

  • Miranda couldn’t identify the feeling in her chest then. It was so abstract and intangible that she knew it shouldn’t be capable of causing such profound pain. She had known this pain only once before – when her father died – and she finally recognized it; her heart was breaking.

  • Gaping mouths of concrete and steel soundlessly cried out in horror.

  • The crinkling of the ancient pages whispered in the quiet night, calling her name with a wordless voice.

  • She wanted to stay like this, lingering in his light for a while.


Dragons Are People Too (For this one, I gravitated toward the lines that represents Kitty's voice more than anything else)

  • I suddenly feel like I'm lost in a forest I've walked through many times. I stare at a point in front of me that I'm not entirely sure exists. But it must, because I can't seem to tear my gaze away.

  • Not for the first time, I wonder if the Secret Service teach their agents a class in how to frown with purpose.

  • Sani is calling my name but he sounds like he's above the waves of this ocean that's drowning me in nothing.

  • "Technically," I hedge, "I didn't do anything wrong." It probably would sound more convincing if I believed it.

  • Sometimes, I need my mom to be just my mom. And being semi-responsible for both an international event and the exposure of an entire species that thrives on secrecy? This would be one of those times.


Well, there they are. Five of my favorite lines from both The Demons You Know and Dragons Are People Too. I hope you like them. And if you participated in this blogfest, leave a link in the comments!

26 comments:

  1. LOVE the lost in the forest one. NICE.

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  2. :-) Thanks! It's less frilly than it sounds because this is an actual, literal sensation she's experiencing as a result of someone else's use of magic :-) but it still sounds cool

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  3. I agree with the first one being fabulous. The rest are pretty good as well. :)

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  4. What fun! Magic and mayhem? Both sound like interesting reads.

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  5. I'm having such a great time reading everyone's entries in this blogfest. I really loved the line about the secret service. Frowning with purpose. Fanastic!

    -M.J. Fifield
    My Pet Blog

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  6. I love the one about frowning with purpose! Thanks for sharing. :)

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  7. So fun! I love the pieces from Dragons. That's awesome!

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  8. I want to read all of them. Well done! Following you.

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  9. The gaping mouths sentence is very imagery related and my favorite. Thanks for sharing!

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  10. I like your wording in The Demons You Know, like "trembling of magic", "crinkling of the ancient pages", and "lingering in his light". Nice images.

    The Write Soil

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  11. "Gaping mouths of concrete and steel soundlessly cried out in horror." - Horror at what I wonder? This line leaves me so curious and wanting to read more.

    Lucy

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  12. These are really good. You did a great job finding ones that showed the voice. Fun!

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  13. I really like your description! Lets me really picture a scene in my head. Good work :)

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  14. Yes, magic for Demons and weredragons in Dragons! I <3 my dragons.

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  15. :-) Thanks. Yeah, Kitty makes fun of the SS quite a bit.

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  16. :-) Thanks! I like that one too!

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  17. Thanks! I'm only about 10k in so I was worried about finding enough! :-)

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  18. Thanks! Hopefully you'll be able to one day!

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  19. :-) Yes, I don't normally do description very well so I'm proud of that one!

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  20. Thank you! I took a lot of time to develop the language I used when talking about their magic, so I'm glad you like it!

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  21. :-) yes, that is very sad time for Miranda.

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  22. Thanks so much! I think I work harder on description than anything else because it doesn't come naturally to me.

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  23. Thanks! Kitty is such a fun character to write for me.

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  24. Fabulous excerpts! Great work, and thank you for sharing.

    Sarah Allen
    (my creative writing blog)

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  25. My favorite in the first set was the fourth one about crinkling paper. That was lovely! As for your second set - Kitty has quite a bit of snark in her voice! :)

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